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Tunes and Tales

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The "Law Revue" Show -- University of Michigan Law School

lawrevu2-100.jpg (4756 bytes)lawrevu1-100.jpg (4642 bytes)While I attended the University of Michigan Law School, I appeared in the annual "Law Revue" (alleged) "talent" show.  (Note the spelling of the title -- to distinguish it from the "Law Review," where students obtained recognition from having attained a high grade-point average or performed exceptionally in a writing competition, as opposed to from having humiliated themselves in front of hundreds of people.)  I performed in the show my second (1981) and third (1982) years, and was invited back the following year (1983) as an alumnus.

In the show, I performed parodies of well-known tunes, with lyrics adapted to law school life.  One popular number was my modification of a Simon & Garfunkel classic (I recorded the performance on a low-end tape recorder):

THE TIME FOR CRAMMING (to the tune of "The Sounds Of Silence")
Parody Lyrics Copyright 1981 Lawrence Savell - PLAY MP3

Hello, Gilbert's* my old friend
I've come to cram with you again
Because I spent too many hours screwing
Off** when I should have been at work reviewing
The Nutshells were never planted in my brain
And there still remains
The Time For Cramming.

In darkened stacks I walked alone
Where Law Reviewers call their home
'Neath the halo of a Tensor lamp
I grabbed a "Hi-Liter" so cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by a polyester suit
Belonged to  ____***
Even he does cramming. . . .

And in the naked light I saw
Ten dozen First Year's, maybe more
People reading hornbooks of all sorts
Casenote Briefs of Crim Law, Tax, and Torts
People writing outlines they'll never get to use
There's no excuse
When it's The Time For Cramming.

"Fools," said I, "you do not know."
"Casenote blows it in E.O.
Prosser's good but he's been dead for years.
McCormick's book could bring a judge to tears.
Only Gilbert's can save you from the bottom half."
I had to laugh
And went back to my cramming.

But the people could care less
And they all beat me on the test
Because my answers were all out of date
I'd forgot to send for the update
And the Dean said, "I hope you like it at Wayne State,
For come next year,
That's where you'll do your cramming."

_______________
*Gilbert's (like Nutshells and Casenote Briefs, referred to later), is a brand of commercial outline or "hornbook" utilized by law students, sometimes in place of reading the assigned cases and/or attending and taking notes in class.

**Unfortunately, due to nervousness, when I sang this song in front of the entire school and faculty, I accidentally omitted this word. Future musicologists will no doubt claim it was a subtle "tip of the cap" to my fraternity-day "blue period."

***A distinguished member of the Michigan Law faculty, who had a predilection for wearing garments made of this fine material. He was present for my performance, and nearly fell out of his chair. Fortunately, I had already taken his course, and had received my grade, which, by then, could not be changed.

If you liked that, here are playable and downloadable versions of two other songs the parody lyrics for which I wrote (Copyright 1981, 1982 Lawrence Savell) and which I  performed at the Shows:

"P/F, The Magic Option" ("Puff, The Magic Dragon") MP3
"Yesterday" ("Yesterday") MP3

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