The Ultimate Fraternity Room
At TEP, there was always the possibility (albeit remote) that a brother
might have the good fortune of actually convincing a woman to come to his room. As a result, members anxiously anticipated the house lottery
(it seemed that every
accommodation in Ithaca was obtained through some kind of lottery), which would
determine who got the best (i.e., least offensive) rooms. Before
the lottery for my senior year abode, I had my first choice picked out:
the cozy first floor cubicle, just off the front hall staircase. What was so
special about that room? It had (imitation) wood paneling -- a substance
that reputedly gave the room such a sense of "class" that women could
not control themselves in its presence (Boy, were we out of it in those days!).
Thanks to luck, seniority, and my guarantee to others that I would "do the
room justice," I got my choice. Of course, despite its alleged allure,
during my occupancy it ended up attracting about as many women as a "Three
Stooges" midnight triple feature in a bad neighborhood.
|
Starting
with the back of the door, we see a Billy Joel and a "Wet
Willie" (the band, not the mucus) poster (proving that tastes do
change over time). Covering most of the latter is a sheet of
"oaktag" listing and indicating the status of the applications
to 16 law schools. Moving to the left we see a bookrack and file
cabinet, all volumes bearing considerable exterior dust.
"Art" hangs on the wall. |
|
Moving
along the expanses of faux paneling, we (unlike other visitors) reach
the bed, of a width equal to 75% of a normal person. The bedspread
is a polyester and plastic amalgam, presumably able to repel rain, snow,
meteorites, and fashion sense. The corner of the room is bordered
with eight centerfolds from Surfing Magazine, none of any
prurient import. A curtain appears to the left. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Back to TEP Page
|