SCHMERLER THE HURLER -- September 10, 2000

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SCHMERLER THE HURLER -- September 10, 2000
by Gil Schmerler

USUAL MAYHEM, UNLIKELY HEROES AT DOBBS

The Dobbs Ferry 2000 campaign opened September 10 with a pair of tough, hotly contested games featuring - surprise! - home runs. Ironically, the biggest blow of all was a single in game 2 by the unlikeliest Dobbs Ferry hitting hero of all: Havelock Hewes blooped one into short left field with the bases loaded and the score tied at 12 in the bottom of the seventh, to key a come-from-behind win for the unlikeliest pitching hero of all, Gil Schmerler. Prior to his team's four-run comeback in the last inning, Schmerler had distinguished himself primarily by surrendering shot after shot over the distant left-field fence. Fortunately for Schmerler, his pitching adversary, Tony Connors, didn't have his own fast-pitch working either, and the team was able to chip away to set themselves up for the seventh inning rally.

Home runs on the day were hit (probably) by Joe Balento, Derek Martinez, Josh Wager (two, probably), Rick Tovar, Larry Savell, Mohammed Khan, Paul ___, Tony Connor, Mike Palma, and, most impressively, Rich Inserro (two, including a grand slam in his first at bat after a long stint on the DL). (There may have been others, but they will be lost to posterity, since this reporter and the scorebook are currently in two separate states.) Schmerler hit one that might have been a home run if it had not been distinctly foul, hit into the trees, and caught by the third baseman.

In the first game, Jeff Appell, who seems never to lose despite every batter thinking "I can hit this guy!" out-dueled Havelock Hewes for the victory. Appell is probably about 10-1 by now, despite the website listing him at 4-1. A victorious Bill Vernick refused, as usual, to recant his traditional pre-game scream of anguish, "Who made these teams?!!"

A political revolt was quashed prior to the first game, when Phil Kotik's bid to get everyone to move to the other Dobbs Ferry field was roundly defeated. In spite, Phil refused to hit a home run in either game today.

As far as anyone knows, games will continue at the Dobbs Ferry for "a couple more weeks" or until every last player has hit one over the fence, whichever comes first.

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